The True Meaning Of Valentine's Day

Valentine’s Day is the day to let your loved one know just how much you care but the history of the day is intriguing as it used to be a pagan celebration and the offering of cards and loving messages wasn’t quite on the agenda.

The Romans created a kind of lottery, about eight hundred years before the day became Valentine’s Day. To demonstrate men’s rite of passage to the God Lupercus,  young men selected a name from a box and the teenage girl he picked would then have to be his companion for the rest of the year, whether she liked it or not!

Then Pope Gelasius came along and put a stop to any young romance developing by changing the names placed in the box to those of saints and allowing both men and women to pick names from the box. The young people then had to emulate the behaviour of the saint they had picked for the rest of the year. Any thoughts of passion were consequently thwarted much to the young men’s dismay.

The Church intervened and searched for a more suitable saint instead of the pagan God Lupercus and came up with Valentine who had been beheaded by the Emperor Claudius in AD270. Valentine had been secretly marrying young men that came to him, longing to be romantically entwined to their chosen one. Claudius was far from impressed as he felt that married men made poor soldiers. A big argument ensued and eventually poor Valentine, despite his romantic endeavours and refusal to be converted to paganism, was killed.

However, he left behind an amazing legacy of love. The blind daughter of his jailor became close to his heart. Before Valentine died, his sound faith and his love for her cured her of her blindness. Poignantly before his death he signed a note to his loved one which simply said; ‘From your Valentine’. This phrase has been used ever since.

Roman men were aware that the original lottery for women had been banned by the Church but they continued to use the mid February time to seek the affection of women and it became traditional for the men to give a lady they liked handwritten messages of affection which contained Valentine’s name. The Valentine card emerged from this and according to historical records, the first Valentine card was sent in 1415 by Charles, Duke of Orleans, to his wife; he was imprisoned in the Tower of London at the time.

Cupid has also played a role in the celebrations; though legend in nature. He was the son of Venus; the Roman God of love and beauty. His symbolic image of shooting a love arrow is often seen on Valentines cards. Cupid embodies the legend of Eros, the son of the Goddess of love. A beautiful mortal princess called Psyche caused Aphrodite to become jealous and so she sent her son to cause Psyche to fall in love with the ugliest creature he could find. However, Eros couldn’t help but fall in love with the princess himself. They become lovers but Eros made sure Psyche never laid eyes upon him, hence the anonymity of Valentine cards today. The Princess’ world fell apart when her sisters persuaded her to find out Eros’ identity and Psyche found herself all alone when the secret was out. On her journey to find her lover Eros, she had to endure several hard tasks set by Aphrodite and eventually collapsed. Eros found his beloved lying lifeless. Aphrodite was persuaded to forgive Psyche and Eros and moved by Psyche's love for Eros, made her immortal, agreeing that the lovers could be united for all eternity.

Today, some couples are fortunate enough to also be united forever because they are deeply in love and are happy with one another. Valentine’s Day is just another excuse to display such affection. However, not everyone feels the same and some couples experience the initial excitement and spark of their relationship beginning to fade as time goes by. What would Eros and Psyche suggest for couples to spice it their relationship?

Some ideas are very simple and revolve around reminding a partner of true feelings such as making time for them and touching them in affection and compassion to let them know they are thought of.

Other ideas explore experiencing new adventures together such as planning a surprise trip out of town, joining a new group or society together and going on holiday to a different location.

Doing something a little out of the ordinary is guaranteed to bring a smile such as hiding a surprise gift in an unusual place, placing a flower and a love note beside the bed so they see it when they first wake up and serving breakfast in bed!

Another good idea is reviving the first days of romance. Going to the same place on the first date is an excellent idea to restoring the first flush of love. The memories may act as an aphrodisiac which is just what the doctor ordered to reclaiming passion and excitement.

Dedicating a song to a loved one on the radio is bound to bring a romantic smile as is sending flowers to a workplace and/or writing a love letter or poem and placing it where they are likely to find it.

What is more important than anything else is letting a loved one know they are cared for; this is more meaningful than any gift.

Tell them how you feel on Valentine’s Day. ‘I love you’...probably the most special words in the whole world.