A Christmas Dream

He visits the dreams of the young not old

Travelling the starry skies

A very jolly man the tale is told

Who eats too many mince pies

Squeezing down the chimney in eager pursuit

To deliver gifts galore

Leaving many a present that will only suit

A child who doesn’t want more

A reindeer or two, a sleigh so bright

A home he won’t leave out

Stealing through the Christmas Eve night

No one knows that he’s about

But I know he comes and I know it’s true

Others to believe is so hard

He left me a gift that no one else knew

A reindeer in my own back yard!

http://www.amazon.co.uk/-/e/B00916RDTA

My book for young children is on Amazon.

Please take a look and enjoy!

Wrinkles, worrying and whining...but wiser every day!

I advocate replacing birthdays with wisedays. Why the devil not? They do in some cultures, so why not here?

I’m grumpy about the way getting older is frowned upon; making wrinkles even more firmly entrenched, by the brainwashing media. Harrumph!

Have you watched the adverts lately? Always youngsters having the time of their lives in their new cars, with their whiter than white washing and their recently coloured hair and glamorous makeup.

All because they’re worth it...

Even bloomin incontinence pads are beginning to be advertised using suspiciously young actors. I don’t know whether to feel insulted or relieved!

I was searching for a magazine the other day and came across a celebrity who is my age looking half my age. Now, how is that so? Is this simply an advertisement for cosmetic surgery? Is it airbrushing gone mad? Or does she really look that young and I just appear like an old harridan in desperate need of a facelift?

Why can’t I just grow older disgracefully? I would wear purple, I can assure you.

Why do I feel the urgent need (not for the toilet...please!) to enhance my witch like, gnarled looks?

In fact, talking about toilets...have you seen that advert about toilets? Well actually, the one where the cashier has a bladder complaint and all she sees are toilets? Oh dear. Is this what growing older is all about? Should I dread the inevitable increasing years?

Hmmmm

The media has a massive impact on people’s lives. Now I know this for sure as I am a psychologist and I have a soapy box that I can lift myself onto every now and again and call for attention. I talk about body image issues and addiction, I refer to society and socialisation and conditioning and I demand a balance...less busty women and more men showing their physiques...just for a change. Not much to ask really, is it?

I have to admit though, I wouldn’t mind a kind photographer taking my picture and then politely airbrushing away my wrinkles, smudges, pores, possibly half my nose and enhancing my ultra slim lips. Admittedly it may not look much like me in the end but, well, I would still look glamorous. Visitors would come and stare at it and then at me with a quizzical expression...

I think we all know that society places too great an emphasis on appearance and this can be very damaging to confidence and self esteem. It is such a pity that we can’t all just accept the way we are and the way we look; young or old and welcome the person beneath; whether under silky blonde hair or grey short tufts.

Beauty comes from within.

The media hasn’t forgotten this. They just can’t always get money out of it.

So my propositions are thus;

ΠWisedays...respect people getting older, stop pushing them away into shadowy, dusty corners as if they are somehow worthless past the age of 40!

 Adverts...older people have fun too! Why be ashamed of them? Can’t they colour their hair, do the washing up, grab a bit of shopping and hoover too?

Ž Acceptance...enhance wrinkles and embellish faces full of character. Banish facial creams for men and women that keep aging at bay. Brush away airbrushing too!

And if you really require a reason for implementing the above strategies, I think it’s pretty bloomin obvious what that is...

Because when you are over the hill you’re worth it!

Have the Courage of your Convictions

Have the courage of your convictions!

What do you believe in?

Safer roads for your family? Better schools for your children? Cheaper supermarket prices?

Or do you read about the plight of inhabitants of third world countries? Do you worry about cruelty towards animals, long for more knowledge to help the sufferers of terminal illnesses?

Fighting for what you believe in; whether it be standing up to your demanding employer or demonstrating against experimenting on animals, takes courage and fortitude; the kind of bravery that doesn’t flag and the type of spirit that laughs in the face of obstacles. Underlying all this is a steadfast belief that doesn’t falter. What do you believe in? What really makes you want to leap off your soap box and demand change? You can make a difference providing you follow a few golden rules, realise you have the necessary determination and belief to make changes and cultivate an indomitable nature that never ever gives up. Here’s how...

:-) Find out as much as possible about the matter that you feel strongly about. For example if you feel women are under too much  pressure to look young and beautiful then research using the internet and the library to discover any psychological studies that may support your argument and the history of a woman’s desire to improve her appearance. Talk to people who have undergone operations to feel better about their looks and gather as much information as you can to support your claim

:-) Search for groups and organisations that feel the same way that you do. What are they doing to make changes? For example if you feel there is too much discrimination against mental illness in the workplace then you could visit www.time-to-change.org.uk to find out if you can contribute to the cause

:-) Create your own blog or online diary of what you are doing to promote change. Let others know too. If you have a facebook or twitter account, keep everyone updated and urge them to join you. If you find resistance then don’t worry, according to psychology a minority influence can still be powerful, you just have to remain consistent in your views.

:-) If your passionate cause is closer to home and doesn’t involve saving the world but does mean that you could be on your own in your bid to be listened to; such as informing your employer of something important, tackling your child’s headmaster or realising you need a career change, then gain as much moral support as you can from your family and friends. Studies have shown that a support network can get us through illness and trauma so enlist as much personal help as possible.

:-) If your strong belief has a political or social slant, consider contacting your MP. You can air your grievances and discover whether they might be able to help and offer you support. Discuss your ideas of what you would like to do to make the situation better, any research you have done and any other people who can back your claim. Visit http://findyourmp.parliament.uk for more information.

:-) Fancy banging on the black door of Downing Street with a very long petition supporting your cause? Well, you could do this or you could actually send an e-petition which is considered more stress free. There is a step-by-step guide and everything you need to know if you visit the site of the Prime Minister’s Office at http://petitions.number10.gov.uk e-petitions that receive 100,000 signatures or more will be eligible for debate in parliament!

:-) If you feel very strongly concerning issues in your area then why not think about becoming a councillor? There are about 20,000 elected councillors in England. You could join them and tell them how you think the future should be and what changes should be made and why. To find out exactly what is involved in being a councillor and whether you have what it takes visit www.beacouncillor.org.uk

How about taking a leaf out of Susan B Anthony’s  (1820-1906) book?  She campaigned against slavery and the promotions of women’s and workers rights. She gave countless speeches to motivate others to join her cause. Could you do the same?

Emmeline Pankhurst (1858-1928) was a British suffragette who dedicated her life to the promotion of women’s rights and Helen Keller (1880-1968) overcame the frustration of losing her sight and hearing to campaign untiringly on behalf of deaf and blind people. What these women had in common was their determination and passionate spirit. You can cultivate this too.

When the going gets tough and you feel alone in your beliefs, remind yourself of why you wanted to make the situation better in the first place and create small goals that are easy to achieve. Perhaps your ultimate aim is to have a website where people can join and support one another, maybe you are seeking funding for a community project or perhaps you are arranging a peaceful demonstration to show the council how you feel and the journey is long. Don’t give up, remember you will never be alone with how you feel. There will always be someone out there, sharing your dreams of a better future. Find them, keep working at it and one day, you will make an impact on the world!

Spring is here!

True Love

TRUE LOVE

Elizabeth had started working at Wheal Betsy when she was 10 years old and she knew she fell in love with him then.

He had shown her how to sort and wash different ores and had been so kind to her. When his gentle brown eyes fixed on her young face, she felt herself melt. She told her mother that she liked him and she had simply laughed, saying she would grow out of it and that he was far too old for her. He was an engineer at Wheal Friendship and had visited her mine that day she fell in love with him. His name was John Taylor.

He had to be about 16, she wasn’t sure, but when he returned to her mine to work she tried to talk to him but he was always so busy. She overheard him once talking to the manager of Wheal Friendship and his accent was funny; not like her Cornish one. She didn’t hold that against him though. She was going to marry him one day. She didn’t care what he sounded like.

Elizabeth found her work at the mine wearisome and exhausting. She had been reading a poetry book her mother had given her and she wanted to be a teacher one day. She longed to go to Tavistock and fulfil her dreams but she knew she couldn’t. There wasn’t enough money for her to be educated and her dreams were just that; dreams. She felt sad as she knew that in reality, she may never fulfil her potential. So instead she sang with the other bal maidens and this lifted her spirits; her beautiful soprano voice was so pure that often the other girls stopped singing to listen to her. But she would just smile and encourage them to join in. With her long dark hair and twinkling green eyes, it wasn’t just her singing voice that turned heads.

The following year there were whispers about John Taylor. He was very intelligent and his ideas had been accepted to improve the Wheal Friendship mine. Elizabeth was impressed to think that her future husband was so clever but still she hadn’t got to talk to him and express her feelings for him. Her age had nothing to do with her emotions. She didn’t tell her mother that she intended to marry him.

Her hopes for a happy ever after began to dim as two years passed and she continued working down the mine; learning new skills all the time such as spalling, framing and griddling. She kept a diary of her feelings for John Taylor and her dreams for a better life teaching children and marrying but she began to wonder if she was only ever destined to work at Wheal Betsy; never to live in true daylight.

Then Elizabeth found out from her mother that John Taylor had become the manager of Wheal Friendship. She was pleased for him but she thought she would never see him now, for surely his time would be taken up there.

Wheal Betsy didn’t hear Elizabeth’s sweet singing voice for the next five years as she became more and more disheartened. Becoming a young woman, her heart yearned all the more for her one true love. He had started building a magnificent waterway and her mother kept her updated on all the news. John Taylor had become a very important and famous man and yet Elizabeth still recalled the tender way he had shown her how to work in the mine and her heart would feel like it could burst when she remembered his kind words.

She found out from another worker that there was an important visitor coming to the mine and she knew it had to be him. That day Elizabeth made sure her dress was crease free and her hair as shiny as she could brush it. Her heart hammered in her chest as the bal maidens were called to cease work and stand for the visitor. John entered but he was with a group of people who Elizabeth didn’t recognise and they were quite loud and boisterous.  Silently she stood, waiting for John to reach her, her eyes fixed intently on him. He had changed, grown older, but he was still the only man for her and she loosened a stray dark hair so that it hung prettily over her face. When he reached her, he smiled into her eyes and Elizabeth smiled shyly back. She said how he had helped her years ago and he replied that he remembered. Their eyes held but then he had to move on and it took a while for Elizabeth’s heart to cease its frantic beating.

There was a man in the group of people who watched her and had seen her blushes. He approached and introduced himself as Josiah; he was John’s best friend. Elizabeth regarded him with interest. How lucky he was to spend so much time with the man she loved. Josiah spoke about his friend with much admiration and Elizabeth enjoyed their conversation until he mentioned John’s engagement. He was to be married! She felt her whole world fall apart as John’s friend left her to join the group of visitors and they departed for the women to continue their work.

Elizabeth knew he would never be hers now and her dreams were broken along with her heart. That night her mother sensed her despair and tried to reassure her but Elizabeth shrugged her away and ran out into the night. How foolish she had been; John Taylor would never have married her. She was nothing to him; she was surprised he even remembered her.

Before she knew it, she had run from her home in Mary Tavy to Wheal Betsy in half the time it normally took her and as the rain began to fall it mixed with the tears that fell from her cheeks. Thunder made her jump but she no longer cared for the weather, for the future or even for herself. The man she loved was to marry another. Her life was over.

The rain got heavier and it wasn’t long before she was drenched, staring up at the dark sky with anguish. No one knew where to find her; no one would look for her anyway. It would be fitting to die by the mine that she had sacrificed her life for and now it was time...

Lightning suddenly lit up the sky and for a second, Elizabeth thought she saw the silhouette of a broad shouldered man stood by the engine house gazing her way but then almost immediately thunder crashed so loudly it took her breath away. She didn’t want to run for shelter. She wanted the lightning to strike her, as it must surely do if she stood there much longer.

Sobbing she waited for her life to be taken when with awe she watched a golden fork of lightning hit Wheal Betsy’s chimney stack and an eerie rumbling sound filled the air. The next moment, someone had grabbed her hand and had pulled her to safety. They had fallen together into a heap on the soggy, marshy ground and through her tears and the incessant rain; Elizabeth peered up into her rescuer’s eyes. It was Josiah who she had met earlier. He pulled her close and his body was warm and comforting. When she looked around again, the rain had eased a little and she was able to see that the chimney of the engine house had moved so that it now leaned at a strange angle. How lucky they were that it hadn’t fallen and swept them away.

Very lucky. Elizabeth realised that she was grateful. Perhaps she didn’t want to die after all. Josiah gazed down at her and warmth filled her despite the coldness of the rain. She belonged where she was.

Several years later Elizabeth would recount that night to her pupils, omitting certain details but explaining how the power of the storm struck the chimney of Wheal Betsy. That was why it now leaned. The story reminded her of the importance of life and how fortunate she was. Lucky to have met the true man of her dreams, her rescuer, the man she loved with all her heart. Now she couldn’t even remember who John Taylor was, even if everyone else could...

The magic power of sleep

Currently featuring in the Plympton Magazine (Plymouth) is this article of mine...

When your alarm clock springs into action, do you groan and bury your head in your pillow, anxious for a few more minutes or do you stretch and feel wonderfully refreshed as you leap out of bed? Okay, so perhaps the latter is a bit exaggerated for us to experience all the time, but it is possible to gain from the immeasurable benefits of a good nights sleep once you create the right setting and follow a few useful tips.

But what are these benefits that experts talk about?

Your brain is at a serious advantage if you can give it the much required sleep it deserves because this is the time that it can repair damaged cells and put data into your memory (very useful when revising for exams) as well as work at repairing other damaged muscles and tissue. This will increase understanding of facts and retention through memories being appropriately sorted and correlated.

Sleep is energising too as it can revitalise a tired body ready to face new challenges as well as relax a stressed mind and/or body. It can lower blood pressure as a result of anxiety and tension.  As well as benefiting your overall health and wellbeing, sleep can help you live longer, can make you look younger, improve cognitive functions and provide a healthier life. Additionally and very importantly, while you are in the land of nod, sleep helps maintain a healthy heart as it reduces the levels of stress and inflammation in your body. So sleep can keep our emotions healthy and positive.

Sleep can also help regulate the hormones that control and normalise your appetite so you can even control your body weight. Researchers have discovered that when we are deprived of sleep we have cravings for fatty foods and carbohydrates which lead us to put on weight. So if you are on a diet; you need to get a good night’s sleep!

So, it is very useful to know that sleep will allow your body to rejuvenate and restore itself and that every part of the body is involved in this; the lungs, the immune system, hormones, emotions, heart, etc. This suggests that better sleeps leads to a better life but what can you do when you find yourself unable to slip into slumber land?

Everyone is unique and there is a whole host of reasons why different people are unable to sleep from circumstances such as looking after a crying newborn baby to a stressful job but while such situations need to be examined to see if a compromise can be reached, certain tips can be beneficial even for the chronic insomniacs amongst us.

If you find you are going to bed worrying and feeling unable to relax then you need to be able to master the skill of slowing down your brain and your body for at least two hours before you go to bed. Don’t exercise prior to going to bed unless it is something calming like yoga or involves deep breathing and relaxation exercises. Avoid caffeine, alcohol and heavy or spicy foods in the hours leading up to bedtime. Replace them with foods that contain tryptophan such as bananas, dates, milk and turkey. Foods high in carbohydrates such as whole wheat bread/crackers can also improve your sleep as they raise the levels of serotonin in your body. Herbal teas make a good bedtime drink. Chamomile, Valerian or 'Sleepy Time' teas are calming choices.  Try also taking a warm bath that isn’t too hot. This can be wonderfully relaxing, especially if you add aromatherapy oil for that added extra touch of calm inducing bliss.

A natural cure for insomnia is to sleep in an environment that encourages restful sleep. Your bedroom should be cool, dark and quiet. Make sure that the curtains are closed so that you aren’t woken up before you have to get up the next morning.  Curtains can help keep out some of the light and noise from making its way into the bedroom.

Simply wear what you feel comfortable in and you shouldn’t have a TV in your bedroom if you want to get a good night’s sleep, although most people have one.  Make sure that once your bedtime comes, you turn it off and go to sleep without noise and distraction.

Consider buying a new mattress if yours is uncomfortable, old or lumpy. There is a vast range to choose from. If you have a neck or back problem, you are now being catered for, but shop around and find a mattress that you feel comfortable lying on.

Go to bed at a set time each night and get up at the same time each morning. Disrupting this schedule may lead to insomnia. "Sleeping in" on weekends also makes it harder to wake up early on Monday morning because it re-sets your sleep cycles for a later awakening.

If you wish to consider a natural remedy rather than an over the counter prescription than aromatherapy is a suggestion to think about. Adding a few drops of essential oils to your bathwater, using aromatherapy massage oil, or sleeping with a pillow filled with relaxing herbs are methods that have worked for many others. Scented candles in your bedroom can also be very relaxing. Try Lavender, Chamomile or Ylang Ylang.

Meditation and visualisation are means of diffusing anxiety and tension, as well as learning deep relaxation exercises. Consider these strategies if getting to sleep is an issue. Visiting a herbal specialist may help. Keep a sleep diary to identify specific problem areas. Here you should note the time you go to bed; when you wake up; how long it takes you to fall asleep; if you wake early; and the time you spend napping during the day. If you plot out this information in a sleep diary for a couple of weeks, you may discover patterns and the reasons for poor sleeping or insomnia. Consult http://www.sleep-aid-tips.com for more help.

Following these tips may help you realise that lovely dream of actually leaping refreshed and positive out of your bed tomorrow morning!