Valentine’s Day is the day
to let your loved one know just how much you care but the history of the day is
intriguing as it used to be a pagan celebration and the offering of cards and
loving messages wasn’t quite on the agenda.
The Romans created a kind
of lottery, about eight hundred years before the day became Valentine’s Day. To
demonstrate men’s rite of passage to the God Lupercus, young men selected a name from a box and the
teenage girl he picked would then have to be his companion for the rest of the
year, whether she liked it or not!
Then Pope Gelasius came
along and put a stop to any young romance developing by changing the names
placed in the box to those of saints and allowing both men and women to pick
names from the box. The young people then had to emulate the behaviour of the
saint they had picked for the rest of the year. Any thoughts of passion were
consequently thwarted much to the young men’s dismay.
The Church intervened and
searched for a more suitable saint instead of the pagan God Lupercus and came
up with Valentine who had been beheaded by the Emperor Claudius in AD270.
Valentine had been secretly marrying young men that came to him, longing to be
romantically entwined to their chosen one. Claudius was far from impressed as
he felt that married men made poor soldiers. A big argument ensued and
eventually poor Valentine, despite his romantic endeavours and refusal to be
converted to paganism, was killed.
However, he left behind an
amazing legacy of love. The blind daughter of his jailor became close to his
heart. Before Valentine died, his sound faith and his love for her cured her of
her blindness. Poignantly before his death he signed a note to his loved one
which simply said; ‘From your Valentine’. This phrase has been used ever since.
Roman men were aware that
the original lottery for women had been banned by the Church but they continued
to use the mid February time to seek the affection of women and it became
traditional for the men to give a lady they liked handwritten messages of
affection which contained Valentine’s name. The Valentine card emerged from
this and according to historical records, the first Valentine card was sent in
1415 by Charles, Duke of Orleans, to his wife; he was imprisoned in the Tower
of London at the time.
Cupid has also played a
role in the celebrations; though legend in nature. He was the son of Venus; the
Roman God of love and beauty. His symbolic image of shooting a love arrow is
often seen on Valentines cards. Cupid embodies the legend of Eros, the son of
the Goddess of love. A beautiful mortal princess called Psyche caused Aphrodite
to become jealous and so she sent her son to cause Psyche to
fall in love with the ugliest creature he could find. However, Eros couldn’t
help but fall in love with the princess himself. They become lovers but Eros
made sure Psyche never laid eyes upon him, hence the anonymity of Valentine
cards today. The Princess’ world fell apart when her sisters persuaded her to
find out Eros’ identity and Psyche found herself all alone when the secret was
out. On her journey to find her lover Eros, she had to endure several hard
tasks set by Aphrodite and eventually collapsed. Eros found his beloved lying
lifeless. Aphrodite was persuaded to forgive Psyche and Eros and moved by
Psyche's love for Eros, made her immortal, agreeing that the lovers could be
united for all eternity.
Today,
some couples are fortunate enough to also be united forever because they are
deeply in love and are happy with one another. Valentine’s Day is just another
excuse to display such affection. However, not everyone feels the same and some
couples experience the initial excitement and spark of their relationship
beginning to fade as time goes by. What would Eros and Psyche suggest for
couples to spice it their relationship?
Some
ideas are very simple and revolve around reminding a partner of true feelings
such as making time for them and touching them in affection and compassion to
let them know they are thought of.
Other
ideas explore experiencing new adventures together such as planning a surprise
trip out of town, joining a new group or society together and going on holiday
to a different location.
Doing
something a little out of the ordinary is guaranteed to bring a smile such as
hiding a surprise gift in an unusual place, placing a flower and a love note
beside the bed so they see it when they first wake up and serving breakfast in
bed!
Another
good idea is reviving the first days of romance. Going to the same place on the
first date is an excellent idea to restoring the first flush of love. The
memories may act as an aphrodisiac which is just what the doctor ordered to
reclaiming passion and excitement.
Dedicating
a song to a loved one on the radio is bound to bring a romantic smile as is
sending flowers to a workplace and/or writing a love letter or poem and placing
it where they are likely to find it.
What
is more important than anything else is letting a loved one know they are cared
for; this is more meaningful than any gift.
Tell
them how you feel on Valentine’s Day. ‘I love you’...probably the most special
words in the whole world.
